


Sexual Education

by JazzyKatz



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Blowjobs, Dirty Talk, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Family Feels, Female Reader, Forced Pregnancy, Jealousy, Knotting, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Possessive Behavior, Pregnancy, Sex Education, Slow Burn, Xenophilia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-18
Updated: 2019-10-07
Packaged: 2020-10-21 09:50:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 19,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20691533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JazzyKatz/pseuds/JazzyKatz
Summary: You have the unlucky task of teaching Sex Ed to a class full of stupid teenagers, but you never intended to catch the attention of the resident green kid.





	1. Sexual Education

**Author's Note:**

> I had this idea floating around like "a pwp with a sex-ed teacher and Zim HMM" so I decided to write it.
> 
> Gifted to SinMama for her dedication to my fic Girl With The Irken Tattoo and to make up for the lost joint chapter.  
I added the knotting thing you do in yours. :)

It was the one class that was mandatory for all teenagers, given the epidemic of teenage pregnancies that plagued the school. It happened at least three times a year, as idiot students felt that _ some things _ were considered safe sex. It often gave you a headache when every time you inquired said student about how they became pregnant, the most popular answer was _ “he told me pulling out was safe” _.

It wasn’t. No, it really wasn’t safe.

You came to the conclusion that teenagers were mostly stupid and lazy and wouldn’t spend fifteen fucking dollars on a box of condoms. You never thought you had to include this in your syllabus, that the price of a fucking box of condoms would save you around thirty-thousand dollars and the ever-more growing cost of raising a child. Honestly, the kids were being taught math, they should understand it.

Teaching Sex-Ed wasn’t something you wanted to do every single fucking year but here you were. None of your co-workers were keen on taking up the task, in fact, all of you drew straws at the chance to escape the task. Yet, every year, Every single fucking year, you were always the unlucky person who picked the dreaded red ended popsicle stick that silently mocked you and your every being. You were just the guidance counselor for Christ's sake.

The school refused to hire special teachers for this once in a year class, budget cuts or some shit.

The teachers you worked with gave you that look of pity, but you could see the thrill and relief in their eyes over not being chosen by fate. Fuck fate. The course syllabus had to cover everything, from sexually transmitted diseases to how to properly apply a condom, using bananas. You insisted on making the addition of adding a few more topics, like how pulling out will never work for you and the price of raising a child. Instilling fear into teenagers to stop them from being stupid was a good way to get results.

The class was a week-long class, five head pounding days of torture.

* * *

**Day One - Monday**

You made sure to dress properly for the class. You learned that students wouldn’t listen to you if all they were doing was staring at your chest. It was the only time you dressed conservatively. Turtleneck, blazer, pencil skirt, black stockings. Simple enough.

Entering the classroom, however, someone wolf-whistled from the back. You immediately turn your eyes their way with the best scathing glare you could give them. It made you feel good when you instilled fear into their bones, it gave you a much-needed power trip. You continued to stand at your desk, listening to students yammer on and on about whatever they were talking about, half of them were on their phones, texting or playing a game. One student was in the front, looking clearly like he didn’t want to be here. It was plain on his pasty face. Someone threw a balled-up paper at his head, effectively disturbing the elongated bit of hair that stuck up from his head. He looked utterly miserable. You pitied him.

One student had his hand up, way up. In fact, he was practically standing on his desk. You remembered this one, the only student that was utterly short with the weirdest skin condition you’ve ever heard of. He was staring at you intently with those purple eyes, trying to get your attention.

You cleared your throat to call attention to the class, and nothing happened. No one bothered to listen. Your right eye twitched at the lack of respect, so you took out the only book you carried around for such reactions, a very heavy English dictionary, and promptly slammed it onto your desk so loudly that everyone effectively stopped.

“Now that I have your attention,” You say to the stunned silence, smiling thinly, “My name is Miss (L/N), many of you know me as the school guidance counselor, and I’m going to be teaching you Sexual Education. Believe me, I’m as excited as you are.” You said the last bit in a sarcastic tone. Finally, you give your attention to the boy who had been waving his hand ever-so violently. “You. What’s your question?”

The green-skinned boy lowered his hand, ignoring the way that the pasty-faced kid next to him was glaring at him with a passion. “Miss (L/N), I wish to leave this class. I never plan to use any of this knowledge and I have no desire to congregate with these NASTY SMELLY EARTH SLUGS.”

You stare at him flatly, folding your arms. “Your name?”

“I AM ZIM!” He declared, proud and triumphant.

“He’s an alien, Miss (L/N).” The kid next to him said aloud, earning snide comments from everyone around him.

You lean your hands against the table and take a good look at the green-skinned boy that rolled his eyes to the accusation. “If there were such a thing I’d believe it whole-heartedly.” You stated, noting how both of the students froze, jaws dropping before the other student pointed at Zim and went “HA”.

“But aliens aren’t real, let’s move on.” You say it so quickly that you didn’t notice Zim screaming “HA” at the other boy. You took a look at your clipboard, taking note of his name. Dib Membrane.

Recognition filled your eyes for a second until it left just as quickly, and you went back to not caring. You make your way to the front of the desk and lean against it, taking note of the students. You didn’t really care enough to learn each and every one of their names, you gave your own students the same recognition. “Day one, we’re going to learn about why you’re here, and boy, you’re here for a good reason.” You smile again, ignoring the obvious hand that raised high in the air again, from Zim, who looked utterly put out by this whole class.

Good, let him suffer.

You pull out a long ruler from the side of your desk, laying it against your hand and trying to look threatening. “You’re all here because you’re stupid little hormone-filled doughnuts waiting to burst and explode onto anything willing to bite into you.” You began, “At this school alone we have at least three pregnancies per year. Your graduating class is likely to have a good amount of unwed mothers and stupid fathers who think the pull out method is full proof.” You bring up the ruler and slam it onto the desk in front of you, belonging to a student that was off in a daydream. “LESSON ONE. Pulling out is the same as leaving it in, you complete fuckups!”

Your action got most of the students staring right at you, and you feel a sense of satisfaction. You still ignore Zim, who is now leaning in his seat trying to get your attention.

“Miss (L/N).”

“You might enjoy the thought of sex right now, you might think that it feels good and it’s fun, but it’s an action that requires a full load of responsibilities on both your parts.” You continue, your voice loud.

“Miss (L/N).”

“I’m not here to stop you assholes from doing it. I can’t physically stop you from doing anything. My job here is to make you realize the risks and dangers of your own bodies and the bodies of other people. If you leave this class at the end of the week and decide to forego my teachings, then I won’t be so sympathetic when something happens to you.”

“Miss (L/N)--”

You narrow your eyes at Zim and bring the ruler down onto his desk, whacking it with enough force to effectively startle the small teenager. “WHAT?”

Zim shrunk back submissively and quickly avoided your eyes. “Nothing.”

You keep your stare level for a moment longer and pull the ruler away, putting it back in your waiting hand before pacing the room. You can vaguely hear Dib snort in amusement and Zim hiss out “Quiet!”

* * *

**Day 2 - Tuesday**

There’s less of a disruption when you walk into class, nearly half of the students coming to attention as soon as you make your presence known. It brings a smile on your face to know that you’ve established your dominance enough for them to realize you meant business. You wait patiently for the remaining students to realize you’re standing there. 

Yesterday you brought out the charts of the male and female reproductive organs and went through each and every part, slamming your ruler onto the desks to those who deserved it. By the time it was over, there was a newfound respect in some of their eyes. Zim, especially, looked quite...odd.

You sit at the edge of your desk now, crossing your legs together. “Today we’re going to cover Sexually Transmitted Diseases.” You announce, spotting some students cringe. Zim especially, looking quite disgusted, raising his hand again - albeit nervously. You decide to go easy on him. “Zim?”

“Does every hyuuman carry these ...diseases? I knew they were quite disgusting but I never thought--”

You raise your hand and he effectively stops. “Not all humans are dirty, just those who don’t practice safe sex. While some diseases can be cured with over the counter medications, there are some more serious than others, which can debilitate you for your entire life. Some can be carried over without the need of any sexual contact.” You sit up straight, bringing back your ruler and placing it onto your lap. “Sexually Transmitted Diseases, or STDs, is the second reason you use things like condoms or dental dams, depending on what you are aiming for. Condoms aren’t just to keep you from having a baby. Few diseases are carried on through birth, others aren’t. Which is why you need to _ ask your partner if they’re tested _.” You smack the ruler against your hand, “Repeat with me. What do you ask your partner?”

“If they’re tested.” They said in monotone unison.

“And if they aren’t, what do you do?”

“Take their word for it?” A student questioned when everyone was silent.

You slowly get to your feet and stepped down the aisle, everyone's heads turning back to face the student who had commented. You bend over at their desk and smile. “For your sake, please don’t talk out of line in this class ever again.”

The boy winced and nodded, and you turned back around to return, your heels clacking against the tiles.

“If they aren’t tested, then you tell them to get tested.” You say aloud, spinning on your heel. “Sex isn’t so important that you can’t wait to have it. It isn’t a life and death act that you desperately need.”

You continue to lecture them about the types of diseases that exist and their symptoms, causes and cures, and those without cures you dispel all the stigma behind them. Today was different than yesterday, you didn’t have to use your ruler as much and everyone paid attention. By the time the bell rings you look somewhat satisfied with how the class went, paying no mind as everyone began to leave.

“Miss (L/N)?”

The voice is pretty familiar to you by now and you look up, Zim’s still at his desk, looking pensive. “I have a few questions, the human ritual of mating is more complex than I’ve imagined and quite frightening. Why do humans even do it when there are many risks?”

You want to make a comment about how he refers to everyone as humans but you let the thought pass. It was a valid question. “Well, from my years of experience. Humans do it because it’s fun.” You settle on the desk again, sighing. “Normally it was for the creation of human life, but people have found… different things to use it for. A form of recreation, a hobby, a job.” You see that he wants you to elaborate, but you refuse to do that. He was a fucking student and this discussion was already bordering on inappropriate. “You have internet, go look it up for Christ’s sake.” You say then, narrowing your eyes.

You busy yourself while he thinks about it, finally deciding to leave. After a moment you grimaced badly, realizing you just told a student to look up sex on the internet.

* * *

**Day 3 - Wednesday**

You walk in on the class and the first thing you see is the traumatized face of your shortest student, looking as if he had been up all night looking at things that would have effectively given him nightmares, and that’s when you remember what you told him.

You couldn’t help it, when you began to laugh at how he looked. From his side, Dib was also staring at him, looking like he knew what had happened. He looked like a cross between pitying and amused, almost like he expected it to happen.

Your laughter snaps Zim out of his state and he narrows his eyes at you, making a hissing noise that you quickly ignore while you step over to the desk, resuming your post. The ruler is always present at your side, a quiet reminder to those who didn’t wish to listen. Everyone was relatively quiet, and it looked like Zim was glaring at you in the ‘if looks could kill’ fashion. You paid it no mind again.

The newest addition to the classroom was the television you had wheeled in from the conference room, a video already ready and waiting. “Today we’re going to watch a video. Today’s subject is Sexual Assault and how to identify the signs, such as an abusive relationship and what is expected in a healthy relationship, who to go to if you’re experiencing abuse, and so on. This is important, kids, you’re going to be tested on this.”

You take the remote on the desk and point it at the TV, the video disc entering the box. “Dib, lights.” You snap your fingers and he’s quick to shut the lights off. You get up from the desk and sit in your seat, taking out a tablet while putting your feet up in the corner of the table. While they watch the movie you’re busying yourself with a game that made no sounds.

All the while you're distracted you could feel eyes on you. You do well to ignore it for the first fifteen minutes but the longer you go, the more it begins to annoy you. Eventually, your eyes look up to scan the rows of students and you catch the eyes of Zim cemented to your person, as if he's trying to pry into your brain mentally to take you apart from the inside. You feel a cold chill shoot up your spine at his stare, and you desperately try to ignore it.

Your eyes meet his after another fifteen minutes and he smiles widely at you, his teeth looking sharp and dangerous. Again, you get another chill and you narrow your own eyes at him, mentally trying to warn him against whatever he's planning. He doesn't back down, his own eyes practically daring you to try.

When the movie finally ends and Dib turns the lights back on, you realize that you and Zim had been exchanging stares for the entire class period. You force yourself to tear your eyes away from his, something he grinned at without your notice as you address the class and send them on their way.

After the class one student stays behind, Dib, looking honestly concerned. You don't know why. ”Is there a question?” You ask him.

Dib shakes his head, looking around as if anyone could be spying in on the conversation. “Actually, this is about Zim.” He says, looking at you.

You sigh and settle yourself on the edge of the desk again, “What about Zim?”

“I wasn't kidding on Monday, Miss (L/N). He's a real full-blown alien.”

You eye Dib curiously, remembering him. “I have a file with your name on it from when the last counselor was working here, and the one before that, and the one before that. It’s a pretty big file.”

Dib frowned, “It says I’m crazy doesn’t it?”

You said everything without having to answer the question directly, “There were brilliant minds that were seen as off-the-wall or eccentric that went on to do great things. Like Galileo for example. Isn’t your father a scientist?”

Dib looked slightly offended at the mention of his father, “I’m not crazy, you know. He’s honestly an alien. There’s no such thing as a skin condition that makes your skin green, and--” He stopped then, taking a deep breath and backtracking, “Just, keep an eye on him. He’s been staring at you for the entire hour and I don’t want you to become an alien experiment or something.”

You didn’t know if you should be amused or concerned, and decided to placate the boy before you, giving him a nod of appreciation. “I’ll make sure to keep an eye out.” You tell him. The look on his face went from angry to relieved and he finally left the room, allowing you to stay inside the classroom while school let out.

Aliens couldn’t be real, there wasn’t enough proof, and you’ve never actually seen one.

* * *

**Day 4 - Thursday**

Today you had a box of props and other things you had to buy yourself with your own money, amused at the fact that you had just deposited five bunches of bananas and five boxes of condoms onto the conveyor belt of a very confused and frightened college student working at a superstore. You allowed him to think the worst of your purchase, because it was funnier that way instead of the truth of needing to inform students on how to practice safe sex.

The class was almost perfectly calm when you entered with your box, as opposed to Monday when they couldn’t give two shits about this. You do your best not to look at Zim’s desk, until the lack of green made you actually peer over. His table was empty, and he wasn’t in the room at all. You frowned, looking over at Dib and seeing him just as confused as you were until you decide to move onto your class.

“Today we’re learning about various contraceptives and the proper way to put on a condom.” The statement seemed to make some of the boys whistle while the girls groaned in embarrassment, but you allowed that to slide. Instead, you took out the bananas and began to distribute each one, as well as a condom. “Don’t eat your dicks.” You say flatly before someone began to peel their fruit.

You begin to lecture about the choices of contraceptives, leaving the condom for last until that was all that was left. You were tempted to show them how to apply it with your mouth, but even that was too risque for you in front of a bunch of Sophomores, and you knew that if you did that there were going to be a bigger influx of students seeking counseling. Instead, you demonstrate how to do it correctly, watching as half the students made penis jokes. You were feeling good today, so you decided to let it slide, deciding to eat one of the bananas nearing the end of class.

Once it was over and everyone was gone, you smile. Just one more day of this shit, and all you had to do tomorrow was quiz the little fuckers on what they had covered for the week. After that, you were free of this for another year.

You suddenly wonder where Zim had gone to, until the question dropped from your mind and you were back to not caring.

* * *

**Day 5 - Friday**

You didn’t expect to see Zim when you walked through the door, but more than that you didn’t expect him to look...taller. You weren’t the only one staring at him, the entire class was still looking at him, almost astounded at his sudden height. Dib was the most troubled by it, glaring at Zim as if he knew what the other was planning, if he was _planning_ anything. Zim, however, was sitting so casually, his hands folded together and looking like the attentive student.

It was on everyone’s minds, so you decide to take the bait. “Weren’t you shorter two days ago?” You didn’t even have to say his name.

Zim grinned at you, “I had a growth spurt, it is common among humans, yes?”

“Yes…” You look at Dib again, seeing him try to relay to you what he was saying the other day. “Although it never happens overnight.” You add in, hoping this wasn’t going to be a _ thing _.

Zim didn’t look at all bothered, sitting upright like a good student. “Zim is prepared for further study.” He announced.

You blink once and then get back to what you were doing, taking a stack of papers out of a case and sorting them out. “This is our final day, kiddos.” You say with a hidden amount of glee in your voice. “Our mutual torment is going to end today, and after that you won’t have to see me and I you ever again.” You grin at their sudden joy, because you were mirroring the emotion. Zim was caught off guard at the announcement.

“Where in Floog are you going?” He shouted, “I’m not finished with you yet!”

Dib couldn’t look any more bothered. “Miss (L/N)!” He stressed, trying to refer to the conversation both of you had.

You roll your eyes at both of their outbursts, “Relax, I’m going to be in the facility, and if you _ miss me so much _ then make an appointment to be counseled.” You hoped they never took the invitation, counting out the papers and handing a stack to Dib, Zim, and so on, “Take one and pass them back.” You instructed, “You will be given a half-hour to answer these questions, and do know that this is going to count towards both your academic record and your future. The better you retain the knowledge, the less you’re going to end up a single father or mother living with your parents and a screaming troll you call your child.” You smile cooly after that, returning to your desk and sitting down, “When you’re done, you can leave. No talking, begin.”

You pull out your tablet and prop your feet up onto the corner of the desk, going back to the game you were playing two days ago. Within fifteen minutes someone is at your desk, and you snort in amusement. No one would be done by now. “Don’t tell me you’re done.” You quirk a brow, looking up finally and meeting the violet eyes of the now-taller Zim. His quiz was on the desktop, but he was leaning against the desk, eyeing you.

“I’m not done with you, not by a long shot.” He says quietly, sliding the quiz over to you. “If you look then you will see that Zim has answered everything as they should be answered.”

You glare at him, putting your feet down and taking the paper. “You weren’t even here yesterday.”

“I got notes from another human meatbag.” He replied quickly, challenging you. “Take a look, _ if you’re so doubtful _.”

You were so happy that this was the last day you ever had to deal with this teenager, taking the quiz finally and looking it over. The script was small but legible, however it was small for a reason. Each question was in complete paragraphs, when all you wanted was at least a two sentence answer. You look back up at him incredulously, “Shit.”

Zim was preening himself by now, “Yes, yes, Zim is impressive. I have successfully conquered this foolish little lesson of yours, praise me accordingly.” He began to wait now, expecting you to actually praise him.

Your eye twitched slightly, “Praise is reserved for those who actually impress me.” You say with a small grin, and it only grew at his offended glare. “Do something worth my praise and we’ll talk.”

That comment seemed to offend him further and he glared dangerously at you, finally turning around and storming out of the classroom.

You smirk to yourself and settle back into your seat, resuming what you were doing before you were interrupted. Everyone had caught the exchange but said nothing, however, Dib looked outright worried, looking at you hesitantly before going back to his quiz. Eventually, everyone began handing in their work and leaving in clusters, up until the last person, who was Dib. He seemed to have waited for everyone to leave before approaching you.

“The last thing you want to do is provoke him.” He said worriedly, “Do you realize what he can do?”

“Dib,” You let out a tired sigh, “Teenagers are always moody and demanding, I’m not going to treat him different because--”

“He’s not a teenager!” He cried out suddenly, “He’s an alien that’s at least one hundred and fifty years old! He’s an Irken Invader and for the love of God please _ believe me _! You’re making yourself into a target.” He grit his teeth, pressing his hands to the surface of the table, “Didn’t you see how he keeps staring at you? He’s planning to use you as an experiment! I know because I’ve witnessed this many times before! He doesn’t take kindly to insults or challenges!”

You politely allow him to scream at you, noting how stressed he sounded. It was almost cute, that the kid was worried about your safety. “I’m sure I can take care of myself, Dib.” Which was true, you were once a kickboxer in college and you still could make men cry. He looks frustrated at your answer, almost debating on his next move. Eventually, he sighs and holds up his hands.

“You know what? Fine. Do what you want. But when you are suddenly in his laboratory and being experimented on just remember _ who _ was trying to warn you.” He shoots a glare your way before going back to his desk, retrieving his bag and leaving quickly.

You still couldn’t say that the boy was crazy. Even though his files were all pointing to that one word every time. You actually came across crazy people and he wasn’t nearly the same. Perhaps too seriously devoted and obsessed with exposing Zim, but not crazy.

You pack everything up quietly and think about it, and everything. He sorta made sense, after a while. The ‘growth spurt’ was a grasping attempt as an excuse for him suddenly being over five feet tall. He grew three feet in the matter of two days and that in itself wasn’t possible. Coupled with his ‘skin condition’ then you were wondering if Dib’s words had some merit to them.

You continued to think about it as you went back to your office to store everything, using the time you had left to catch up on your actual job and make a quick addition to Dib’s files.

_ Could be telling the truth? _

_ Not crazy. _

When it was actually time for school to let out you breathe a sigh of relief, leaning back in your seat and smiling. “Weekend, come to me.” You plead, about ready to return home and take a long bath. You take your time in leaving, locking up your office when you were sure the students had all but fled the property and heading towards your car in the nearly empty parking lot.

You idly thought about hitting a bar and fishing for a one-night friend as you grabbed your keys, pausing when you noticed a second shadow next to your own. You didn’t even hear them approach. “What is it? I’m off the clock.” You gripe, turning around only to pause. In front of you was Zim, and you inwardly curse Dib. “I dare you to try something,” You glare at him, “I’m not a weak and helpless woman.”

“I’m aware.” He said simply, and then something beyond abnormal happened, and you stared blankly as a metal arm extended itself from his backpack, holding some sort of spray bottle before he took it, the arm retracting back to where it came from.

You could hear your blood pumping, almost dazed. “He’s right about you isn’t he?” You breathe, unable to understand what you were discovering. “You--you’re an alien, a fucking alien.”

He smiled, “It’s nice to know that not all of Earth’s fleshy inhabitants aren’t dumb.” Before you could react he reached out and pulled the trigger of the spray bottle, the mist spraying into your face and making you cough when you inhaled it. The next second you felt your body getting heavy and the last thing you felt were strong arms catching you before you hit the pavement.

* * *

**Extra Credit - Saturday**

You woke up groggy, everything looked blurry as soon as you opened your eyes. When they began to focus only then did you realize that nothing looked familiar. Everything was either purple or magenta, there was a constant humming sound and it was very cold. You could feel your skin break out in goosebumps from the chill, and only then you realized that you weren’t wearing clothes.

You sit up quickly, only to regret doing so as vertigo set in. You kept yourself still for a moment and looked around. You were...on a table. A cold metal table. You attempted to move but something tugged on your arm painfully and you cried out, finding that a needle was inside of your arm and a tube was feeding you something pink in color. You shudder involuntarily and rip it out, moving to stand.

Your legs felt weak and it took a while to find your bearings, letting go of the table and walking like a newborn dear to the nearest object to hold yourself up against, which was clear glass tubes attached to the floor, big enough to hold a human. Suddenly a familiar voice seemed to feed through your head.

_ “He’s an alien, Miss (L/N).” _

_ “I’m not crazy, you know. He’s honestly an alien. ..." _

_ “Just, keep an eye on him. He’s been staring at you for the entire hour and I don’t want you to become an alien experiment or something.” _

_ “The last thing you want to do is provoke him. Do you realize what he can do?” _

_ “Didn’t you see how he keeps staring at you? He’s planning to use you as an experiment!"_

_ "For the love of God please believe me! You’re making yourself into a target.” _

_ “You know what? Fine. Do what you want. But when you are suddenly in his laboratory and being experimented on just remember who was trying to warn you.” _

You push yourself from the tubes and make your way to a wall, pressing your back against it, your eyes blown wide, but it wasn’t from the revelation, “Jesus Christ Dib wasn’t lying at all.”

“You know, you’re the first human to believe him... no, one other has believed him before, but he's not here anymore.”

You wince at the voice, following the sound but not seeing anyone.

“The Dib-thing been trying to convince everyone for years.” Zim went on, chuckling. “The planet is pretty stupid as a whole, but there are rare moments when I’m able to stumble upon something that is worth the trouble of studying.”

A noise suddenly startled you, a woman screaming and faint cheers from a crowd, it sounded like a fight, and you’re able to see it on a screen, a scene that was familiar to you. Your last kickboxing championship that a friend of yours had recorded and decided to put online for everyone to see. You won that match, and even back then you were known not to suffer fools gladly.

“It’s amazing what this human internet can show you when you enter just the right words.”

The recording changed into a file with your image on it, flickering to an entirely new set of information and some more images, you knew that most of those images were from your social media, which was private.

Another thing that was private was another video, and just hearing the sounds made you cringe, remembering that you filmed that one random night…

“Shut that off!” You cried out, glaring at the screen, “You know this takes stalking to a whole new level you piece of shit.” Thankfully that video stops and you breathe out a sigh. Leave it to your ex to post your sex tape for everyone to see.

“Is Zim impressing you now?”

Instead of looking for someone to glare at you actively look for a door, keeping yourself close to the walls. “I’ll be impressed when you stop talking in third person.” You bite out, “Is this about the fucking quiz? Because if that’s all it’s about then you’re a fucking petty alien--”

“Actually, it was after you cursed me into researching your disgusting internet to learn about human copulation only for you to LAUGH IN MY FACE over Zim’s misery! I completely decided right then and there to return the favor, but the one thing in my way was how completely and utterly small I was.”

You finally spot a door, leaving the safety of the wall and trying to do your best to make it open. Your fingers pry at the metal and you curse yourself for taking psychology as a major instead of technology, making a fist and pounding at the door. Suddenly something is pinning you to the door itself and you cry out, feeling something press against you, and suddenly his breath was next to your ear.

“You’re not leaving yet, we’re just starting.”

You narrow your eyes at his blurred reflection in the door, “What the fuck do you want me for?”

“Didn’t the Dib-thing already tell you?” He mused, “I wouldn’t have even thought of it until I altered my height, and after doing so I realized something about why it’s so taboo to do so. Awakening your height gene also awakens a lot of other things that shorter Irkens aren’t actually given, like the disgusting need to copulate.” You could hear him cringe as he said it, “You’re the only human female that interests me enough to experiment.”

Suddenly he grabbed you and flipped you around so that you were facing each other, his metal appendages were holding your wrists together and making them hard for you to move. Now you were able to see him, his actual appearance, from the large red eyes to the sharp black antennae stalks. He was taller than you were about two feet, almost a frightening presence if you had never met him while he was just a runt.

He grins at the lack of fear in your eyes, clicking his tongue and suddenly he wasn’t speaking English, but another language entirely. It catches you off-guard, listening to the clicks and hisses, sounding almost metallic coming from his tongue. It gives you a familiar sensation deep within your gut that you try and not think about until he grabs your hair and pulls you so close that his lips meet yours. The sudden forceness makes you cry out into his mouth and he takes that opportunity to use it to his advantage. It happened so fast you could hardly react to it, but the longer he explores your mouth the more that forbidden feeling in your gut churns again. It’s only when you feel his free hand roaming your body that the feeling intensifies, making you moan into his mouth. It seemed to be the reaction he was going for, and he slowly lets go of your hair to apply both hands to exploring your body, coming to a stop at your chest to feel your breasts, experimentally pinching at your nipples and trying to see what else makes you react to his touch. The sensations make you whimper and he finally breaks the kiss so he could catch his breath, only to attack your neck with his teeth, leaving a mark there as if to claim you. 

”That’s right… Submit to Zim.” He hissed in your ear and the voice is so distinct and commanding you forget that you were arguing with him just a moment ago. You whimper again, squirming under his touch, his fingers deliberately tracing your ribs and down to your waist, brushing against your abdomen and finally coming to settle between your legs. You suddenly inhale sharply as his fingers delve into your folds; exploring your wet heat as the alien purred in appreciation.

”Your body is reacting positively towards my touch. Now let's see if Zim remembers what you said about female anatomy.” As he speaks his fingers search for a certain spot, the alien keeping an eye on your lust-filled haze as you quietly moan and rock against his ministrations. When he finds your clit you gasp sharply and arch yourself against him. The reaction further pleases the Irken and he toys with the nub for a moment so he can drink in your whimpers and cries. Suddenly he stops and you actually look upset, before he grabs you by your ass and lifts you up, holding your smaller body against his as he carried you to a different part of the laboratory.

While he's transporting you your mind begins to slowly clear. Shouldn't you be fighting him? Weren't you pissed off with this alien a few moments ago? He seems to be able to know what was going through your mind and he looks you in your eyes with his penetrating gaze.

”Be obedient for your master.”

That seems to set you off and you manage to slam your fist into his face, the action catching him off-guard as he reeled back from the hit. You see a window and take the opportunity to use it, struggling yourself out of his grasp before getting into a fighting stance.

He snarls at your blatant disrespect but mirrors your stance, pulling on a grin and challenging you to make a move. You glare dangerously at the alien and lash out first. You want to beat the shit out of him, possibly make him realize just who the fuck he was dealing with. Though with every punch and kick he manages to block you, until you pulled a feint and caught him on his other side. You took that moment and slammed your fist at his chin, taking advantage of every surprise punch to apply another until he finally puts distance between the two of you. He began to laugh, tasting the bit of blood on his lip when your punch caused him to bite it, eyeing you appreciatively and soon advancing. This time he was fighting in the way he knew how, and you couldn’t block all of his attacks fast enough, though you continue not to back down from his claws. You can clearly tell that he was holding back on his attacks, as if he was a cat playing with a bird before he finally decided to devour it.

Suddenly he sweeps his leg under your own and you weren’t able to catch yourself in time, crying out and falling flat onto the floor painfully. He’s quick to pin you down, looming over you and letting out an animalistic growl.

“Not advanced enough to hold off an Elite Irken Soldier but impressive enough by human standards.” He purred, his pack legs back to pinning your arms down while his fingers trace along your bruised face. “I believe I’ve won this battle, and therefore I take my prize.”

You narrow your eyes at him, “What the fuck are you saying?”

He smirked, “It’s an old custom in Irken culture that the males who wish to mate with the females would actively battle them to prove that their worthy of breeding them, and once the male wins he is awarded with the female. You’re not quite as dangerous as an Irken female but I find you worth taking for myself.” He dipped his head down to lick along your neck, finally biting down and eliciting a cry from your lips. Soon you could feel his fingers back inside your folds, feeling just how wet you’ve become. Your face heats up when you see him grin wider, knowing that the fight had increased your arousal.

He’s doing his best to make you fall back under his control and it’s quickly working, his fingers dexterously working on your clit was enough to make you forget why you were fighting him and you react to his touch, squirming underneath him while you hear your own voice beg for more. He refuses to let up, building onto the pleasure and examining your reactions until you’re nearly about to come apart, only for him to remove his hand. You weren’t happy about that, glaring at him just slightly from the denial of your own release.

He looks so damn smug over the fact that he has control over you, but he knows not to let it go to his head. You struggle in his grip and he clicks his tongue in distaste, lifting you up and throwing you over his shoulder. You cry out when he does, wiggling in his grasp but his hold on you is like steel. He moves you across the room and unceremoniously throws you onto something softer and pillowy. You're not restrained anymore and it only means that he's taking his chances while he strips himself, allowing you to get a good look of the Irken’s body, more importantly, the visible tentacle-like phallus that's protruding from his body. You didn't realize that you were starting at it until he snaps his fingers at you, laughing once you look back up at him. At his amused smirk you glare at him.

”I thought you said humans were full of diseases and disgusting.” You snap.

”Oh I already had you tested.” He shrugs, still smirking down at you. ”I would never blindly put myself in someone disease-ridden. You are perfectly clean of all of that.”

You didn't know how to respond to that, except for wondering how this would work. Were you susceptible to his alien sperm? If he had any to speak of. The more you think the further you remember movies with this sort of thing.

The uncertainty on your face seems to be obvious and he chuckles. ”Relax, female. Just submit to Zim.” He descends upon you and your neck is back to being bitten, effectively derailing your thoughts while his hands work on spreading your legs for him. You gasp, feeling him insert his fingers inside of you to explore your core before he let out a strange trill, replacing his fingers with the reproductive organ he possessed.

You were intending to get laid tonight, you vaguely remember. Your friends wouldn't believe this story.

Your thought was quickly torn away by the feeling of something smooth and slick sliding into your hole. You couldn't help but gasp, as it felt bigger than the cocks you were used to. You held onto Zim’s shoulders, whimpering loudly as he pushed himself inside you, his alien cock filling you up completely. Your mind is in a daze, feeling how it was pulsating inside of you before the alien above you began to finally thrust further, pulling back only to slam himself forward. You cried out at the force of the thrust, becoming pulled into a state of pleasure that you never felt with any other male you've been with. He begins a rhythm with his thrusts and you're allowing him to lead you further away from coherent thought and into the realm of feeling. Your nails we're practically digging into his skin as he worked on eliciting more sweet sounds from your mouth.

He seems to be talking to you, but it certainly wasn't in English. The metallic hisses and clicks lulling you further into pleasure. You never thought you'd be so entranced by an alien language but it was happening. “Zim… ” You groan out, only feeling his pulsating cock mold your pussy into what he wanted.

“Zim will make it so you'll never forget this moment.” He purred into your ear before finding your mouth again, capturing you into a raw and possessive kiss. He started to increase his pace to entice your verbal reactions, becoming rougher and more forceful. You couldn't hold back the cries and needy whines that escaped your mouth, the alien above you drinking them from your very throat before breaking contact. His pace was becoming faster and the roughness was turning almost animalistic, making you scream now, unable to contain the cries that reverberated off the metal walls of whatever room both of you were inside.

You were beginning to feel the pressure mounting inside of you, becoming dangerously close to breaking the more he worked to ruin you entirely. Your mind was completely blank by now and all you could feel was his thick phallus ramming itself into you so easily, making itself home inside your wet, aching pussy. Eventually, you felt yourself breaking, screaming out his name as a powerful orgasm wracked through your body. It wasn't nearly over, however, and you began to feel that phallus swell inside of you, nearly painfully the larger it became. Your eyes widened and you cried out, Zim clutching your body and hissing out ferally as he began to cum inside of you, cold liquid quickly filling your womb as his alien cock lodged itself inside of your vagina. You could hear his heavy breathing and the string of clicks and hisses that escaped his mouth, and you wonder what he was saying. It didn't matter in the end, you were stretched to fit the swell of his bulge and he was filling you up even more with his alien cum. You whimpered again involuntarily and he grasped you further, his own claws digging into your skin.

”Zim is your master!” He snarled out. ”Remember who owns you!”

The sudden outburst threw you.

”Say it!”

You cry out as he tugged against the painful swell and you nod helplessly. ”Zim is my master!” You repeat obediently.

You didn't remember how long the two of you were tired together, but once it was over you were sprayed again with that spray gun.

You woke up in your car after an undisclosed amount of time, fully clothed and your body aching from what had happened. When you look outside the window it was already dawn and everything suddenly felt like a fever-dream, despite your body protesting and reminding you it was very, very real.

* * *

**Review - One Month Later**

Ever since that night the alien in question had distanced himself, which didn’t surprise you. He had gotten what he wanted, he was done with you. It was a sick irony in your mind, as you were normally the one looking for one-night stands and now the tables had been turned on you. But you knew the truth now, that this teenager with a skin condition wasn’t a teeanger and didn’t just have a skin condition. You wondered why he allowed you to leave without trying to keep you quiet about his real identity but then you had seen what happened when someone uttered the word ‘alien’. Dib Membrane was the biggest example of that.

Speaking of, you knew you owed him a fucking apology, but you weren’t willing to actually give it. He was doing his damndest to try and help you but you ignored him just like the rest of the people in the school. You had your pride, as damaged as it might have been, you couldn’t publicly admit that the teenager was on point. Though, he deserved to know that there was at least another person on this planet that believed him. You just didn’t want to see him look fucking smug about it and utter those four words: “I told you so.”

You assumed that this would have been a one-and-done thing, until you started throwing up in the bathroom every morning. That in itself was a terrible sign, something you lectured teenagers about and suddenly you were the one eating your own words. Though part of you knew the truth, you still hoped that it wasn’t anything serious, pleaded that it was possibly food poisoning or just the flu, but the longer you had it without any other symptoms your words came back to haunt you. This wasn’t just a regular pregnancy, this was a pregnancy from a fucking alien. You were carrying a ...green fetus.

This was honestly the shittiest form of irony that ever happened to you.

You needed to do something about this, you actually needed to do something. It was far too late to fix the problem, and you knew you weren’t the motherly type. You needed to corner the fucking alien somewhere private and order him to take it out of you. He was smart, he was advanced enough, he could do it.

You tail him to the men’s bathroom, not really giving a shit if any other teenager was inside. As soon as he sees you he doesn’t have a chance to react when you slam him against the wall, your elbow against his throat.

“We need to talk.” You hissed out dangerously, and Zim had a form of recognition in his eyes that you couldn’t quite pinpoint. The Irken manages to shove you aside and performs a scan of the room itself, chasing out the single boy from the stall and shoving a trash can against the door.

“Zim’s been waiting for you to come to him, let me guess, you’re experiencing gestating symptoms.”

You blink quickly before glaring at him, “You _ knew _?” Your voice is low, “You fucking did this on purpose!”

“Of course I did!” He said it as if it was obvious, “Why else would I copulate with an Earth female? You should feel honored! Zim has chosen _ you _ to carry his amazing smeet!”

“I’m not carrying anything!” You cry out, “I want it out of me, I know you have the tools to do so.”

“Nah.” He grinned, “Zim is more inclined to watch the natural birthing process rather than transfer the smeet into an incubator tube. All you have to do is allow it to grow inside of you, Zim will handle the rest once the smeet is prepared to exit your womb.”

You could feel your eye twitch in irritation, and while you were pissed off, the sudden need to rip his head off was consuming you. Jesus Christ, you had an alien fetus inside of you. “I’ll get it out myself.” You say then, narrowing your eyes, “There are ways to fix this kind of problem, and I’m not above using any of them.”

The words seemed to hit Zim the wrong way and he suddenly bares his teeth, grabbing you by your shoulders and shoving you against the wall. “If you don’t wish to remain in a windowless, doorless, sterile room with no human interaction or any way of escape, then you will refrain from trying to delete the smeetling growing inside of you.” He whispered dangerously, “Zim is being merciful for allowing you enough freedom while keeping you under surveillance, don’t make me reconsider my generosity.”

You slowly realize that the alien right in front of you wasn’t keeping himself distant at all, but actually spying on you without your knowledge, and you match his glare. “You wouldn’t dare.” You hissed out.

“Oh, if you wish to try your luck, then by all means, try what you wish.” He grinned at you, “You’ll be back in my base under heavy security before you can even chance a deletion. You may never see the light of day again.”

Your glare lets up slightly but the want to put him in physical pain doesn’t let up. He knew what he was saying, he knew how to get his way. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have gotten into this mess to begin with. He senses your unwilling compliance and lets you go, stepping back. “Remember, (Y/N), out of all these humans YOU were the one chosen for this great experiment! Feel blessed that I’m allowing you to roam free.”

With that he kicked the trashcan aside and opened the door, marching out as if he owned the school.

You reach up to hold your head and groan, leaning back against the marble tile and grimacing. For a moment you shut your eyes, too aware that he had the upper hand in all of this.

The door opened and a student walked inside, stopping at the sight of you. You open your eyes and go still, seeing Dib standing in front of you with his arms folded, looking like he heard the conversation that had transpired between you and Zim. The both of you stared at each other for a moment and you lower your hands.

“I told you so.” He says then, not looking smug or disturbed about it.

You hated this school.


	2. The Great Gestation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> People requested the aftermath of the first story, the 'sequel', and here it is.
> 
> I guess I can write domestic fluff as well as smut, so have at it.

The problem with being pregnant was having to come up with a backstory about how you became pregnant. Especially when you were a single woman that often went to bars to go fishing for one-night stands, yet you were also smart enough to use protection and were on the fucking PILL. You couldn’t really come up with a good explanation about how you became pregnant while you were taking contraceptives, unless you wanted to say to your doctor that you didn’t know alien sperm could bypass your contingency plan.

No, you had to lie about your accident, you had to take the fall for having unprotected sex and becoming the statistic that you often lectured teenagers about. It was a hit to your own ego and embarrassing as all hell to know that you were one of those statistics, even if the arrangement was the strangest one you’ve come across. It wasn’t exactly forced, you couldn’t claim that, because you willingly allowed yourself to be seduced by the freakishly tall alien who had ulterior motives.

Said alien was becoming annoying real quick.

He admitted that he was keeping you under surveillance, and you assumed that that was all he was going to do. Fine, you could handle stalking behavior, it wasn’t new to you. He kept his distance and that was alright, only appearing in your apartment at midnight once every two weeks to make ‘diagnostic checkups’ to make sure the fetus was growing as it should be. Really, you couldn’t ask for anything more in a forced pregnancy, especially when he promised you that your role would be finished once it was born and you never had to deal with him or the ‘smeet’ ever again.

You should have known that it wouldn’t have lasted.

* * *

**First Month - Begrudging Acceptance**

It had been a week since your confrontation with Zim in the men’s bathroom, and the reveal to the one human student who you could confide in. You knew Dib wanted to gloat in your face about not listening to him but he was actually being nice about it, given your situation. When you told him that you had been on the Pill before this happened, he was mixed in his reactions, but the dominating reaction was that he wasn’t shocked that an Earth preventive couldn’t protect you against an alien’s sperm.

Though when he wished to monitor your pregnancy for his own studies you effectively smacked him, as the question brought out a sudden bout of anger inside of you that you had to wonder that it was a mood swing. Honestly, you were offended. You had one student who made you into his active breeding experiment and suddenly another student wanted to use you for a case study.

You tried not to let this new normal get to you. You were never the one to cry, and you didn’t wish to start now. Instead, you decided to take your anger out on something that deserved it, and for the first time since graduating college, you took out your boxing gloves and headed for the local gym, deciding to pretend the punching bag was your least favorite alien and hitting it until it ripped and sand began to pour.

The rest of the gym employees were somewhat frightened.

* * *

**Second Month - Sleepless Night**

It was midnight and you were still wide-awake, unable to sleep from the overwhelming heartburn despite your body protesting and wanting to drop. All you could do was sit at your kitchen table and stare at the bottle of whiskey with a burning ire because it wasn’t like you could drink the damn thing. You had half a mind to use it for better use, perhaps look at your records and find out where Zim lived so you could send him a molotov cocktail through his front window. The thought was entertaining enough to give you a good feeling but not as good enough to make you feel any better.

Your kitchen was the only room with light, while the rest of the apartment was immersed into blackness and quiet. You could hear just about everything.

Even the sound of your bedroom window opening itself from the outside, which shouldn’t be happening normally as you were on the fifth floor.

Speak of the devil…

You take a deep breath and get up from the table, wrapping your cardigan over your nightie to return to your room, turning on the light just in time to see the green alien climb inside in an attempt to be sneaky. He froze at your reflection in the window and turned around. “You should be asleep!” He scowled, shutting the window for privacy.

“It’s called pregnancy, I’m sure you heard of it.” You snap in return, glaring at him. “I was just thinking about you.”

He blinked confusedly, taking in your features, “Eh?” Suddenly he shakes it off, puffing out his chest, “Of course you’ve been thinking about Zim and his greatness--”

“Actually I was thinking about setting your house on fire and taking some selfies while you burned to death.” You clarify in a flat tone.

He looks angry at how you interrupted him but your words make him quiet, the alien quirking his antennae in recognition as he pulled out a tablet device from the pack on his back. “Experiencing mood alterations.” He said to himself as he wrote something with his own claw. “Unable to sleep.” 

You want to throw him out the window, and by then you realize that these mood swings are a lot different than the ones you researched in your own spare time. They were violent, homicidal thoughts against the very alien that did this to you. The scary part was that it made you actually want to do it. “Jesus Christ.” You murmur to yourself, sitting at the edge of your bed in a moment of clarity. “The thought of killing you sounds so...fun.” It was almost disturbing.

Zim was at your side suddenly and you realize he’s still quietly analyzing you. “Irken females get twice as violent in their own gestation period and so the symptoms you feel are quite normal for what is growing inside of you, these ‘homicidal urges’ will subside within time.” He nudged your shoulder then, “Lie back.”

You hesitate for a second before complying, still holding the cardigan around you, not like you needed it. He’s already seen everything. When he clears his throat you groan and lift up the nightie to expose your abdomen, already knowing what he was going to do.

Zim takes out a scanning device from his pack and holds it over your abdomen, able to see an x-ray image of your uterus and everything inside of it. The two of you are quiet for the entire time he scans and takes notes, and you know he will be leaving soon and that makes you feel better.

When he’s finally finished he snaps his fingers and you immediately pull down what you’re wearing. “Zim requires that you get sleeps, your body needs to regenerate energy to handle the smeet.”

“Easy for you to fucking say, you’re not the one experiencing severe heartburn.” You argue, only because it felt so good to argue with him.

“Heart...burn?” He repeats, writing something in his tablet before looking it up. “I see. A common human side-effect of gestation. Zim will take care of this.”

You don’t answer him, glaring instead as you watch him walk back over to the window. He regards you one more time, “I’ll allow this one night without sleeps, but just this once! The next day you will return to your sleeps routine. I will not have you collapsing in the middle of skool from the lack of regeneration!”

You roll your eyes, “Just leave.”

He hesitates for a beat but then huffs, proceeding to leave the way he came in.

After school the next day you return to your apartment to discover a plain wrapped package sitting on your doorstep. You glance around before taking it inside, unable to see any writing on the brown paper before hesitantly opening it. Inside the box were three bottles emblazoned with a black alien symbol, and inside those bottles were little tiny pills.

You find a note with the bottles and the script is familiar to you, tiny but precise.

_ Take only two per night, and your burning heart will subside for the rest of the day. _

  * __The Great ZIM__

* * *

**Third Month - Sugar**

The nausea was going away, thankfully. You weren’t vomiting every morning like clockwork and now food was starting to look appetizing instead of horrible. Though you were starting to realize that some foods were looking better than others. The majority of those foods had sugar.

You craved sugar. Lots and lots of sugar.

You never even cared for sugar before. You weren’t one to eat candy, but now you were buying boxes of it every chance you got. A chocolate bar tasted like heaven but things like pixie sticks were the best thing you could ever eat.

You couldn’t believe a little green fetus could want so much candy.

That’s what you dubbed the child in your uterus as, the ‘green fetus’, as it wasn’t your child. It wasn’t anything you cared about, it wasn’t something you wanted to have. It was just a parasite that was incubating itself inside your womb until it was ready to exit your vagina. At least, you hoped that it would exit out your vagina. You didn’t want it to expel itself from your stomach like in those movies. You had no emotional attachment to the fetus at all.

Zim, meanwhile, treated it with the utmost care. Every time he visited your apartment he would lecture you on how to take care of yourself better just for the sake of the alien growing inside of you. He seemed to care about the fetus more than you, and regarded you as just the carrier. You accepted this as part of the growing process, but there were still some moments when you wanted to hurl him out of the window because he didn’t treat you like you wished.

You were just the vassal, it was only logical that he wouldn’t treat you as anything but.

Then why did it make you feel like shit?

* * *

**Fourth Month - Visible Changes**

You hated this.

You fucking hated this.

Pregnancy meant growing, and growing meant having to shop for clothes. Your abdomen had begun to swell and now you were showing the signs, and because of that none of your pants fit anymore, your bras were also becoming tighter and uncomfortable. You hated shopping and now you were forced to spend money that you didn’t have for clothes you were forced to buy. It was the weekend as well, which meant that you were going to cross paths with students as you ventured the mall.

Normally teenagers didn’t get to you, and you didn’t give a shit about what their opinions were, but for some reason their whispers and pointing as you exited the maternity store just filled you with foreign emotions that you never felt before. The need to cry was becoming heavy in your heart and you didn’t even cry. You managed to keep yourself together until you got back into your car before slamming your fist onto the steering wheel and letting it go. Crying was not new to you, it was something you only did a few times when you were a child and even then you hated it. You had to use one of your recently bought shirts to dry the tears from your eyes before you actually decided to drive home. It didn’t feel any better that throughout this whole experience, you knew you were being used.

Everything that was happening to you was all Zim’s fault. You were being put under an unbearable rollercoaster of emotions and stress and he went on with his life and only approached you in your home when he needed to check your progress. Even in school he didn’t bother to acknowledge you, as if you weren’t even there. Yes, he was monitoring you in other ways but would it really hurt just to be looked at as something other than an incubator for a fucking fetus?

When you finally get home the tears have subsided, thankfully. You didn’t enjoy these mood swings, unless they were the homicidal ones that made you imagine how to kill someone in fifty different ways. You lug your bags through the apartment door only to stop and freeze at the sight in front of you.

A little green dog was vacuuming your apartment while Zim was… was he rearranging your furniture? 

The green dog sees you and drops the vacuum, waving in your direction and screaming. ”HI MARY!”

Zim cries out at the outburst and drops the pile of books he's holding, turning towards you and grinning nervously. ”Oh, you-you’re home.”

You drop your bags, ”What are you doing in my apartment?”

”Zim needs no reason to visit your dirt hovel!” He cried out indignantly while the dog giggles madly.

”He was worried about you!” The creature screeched.

”GIR!” He screamed, looking paranoid and anxious. ”I--uh--was _ JUST IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD _!” He clarified, hoping you wouldn't ask him anything further.

You didn't know how to react to this, nearly about to cry again but you couldn't pinpoint why. He seems to sense your mood and his lip trembles before he's glaring at you desperately. ”Stop that!” He demands.

”Stop what?”

”THAT!” He pointed to your face. ”Stop leaking! I can feel you leaking from across the city and it's giving Zim confusing and weird feelings! Zim is feeling your disgusting human emotions and it’s driving me insane!”

The reaction to that wasn’t what you hoped it would be, feeling the tears flow again as you cry, dropping to the floor and feeling utter embarrassment and anguish over the embarrassment. You were so distracted that the feeling of someone hugging you caught you off-guard, and you finally look up, afraid to move and at the same time weirded out at how the alien was now hugging you.

“Stop! Zim demands you stop crying!” He sounded desperate and angry at the same time, “... _ please _ stop crying!” You could actually hear him cringe as he uttered that word. The weirdness of the situation is enough to bring you out of your anguish and your tears stop, leaving you to sniff while you half-leaned on him. You were so confused, mainly as to why you felt comfortable in his arms.

The same thought seems to pass his mind and he allows you to shove him away, your glare back in place. “This is getting fucking creepy.” You say plainly.

Zim glared back at you, “How do you think Zim feels? I never expected to actually start feeling these strange human emotions! I’ve been trying to figure this out for weeks!”

“Y-you’ve been feeling this for weeks?” You finally stand up, your eyes finding the green dog, Gir, confused as to why a small green dog was in your apartment in the first place. The small creature was currently watching your television from the askew couch.

“Zim has been attempting to ignore it. It’s not just any human emotions, it’s _ your _ human emotions.” He looked disgusted, “I come to believe that this might be a maternal connection brought on by the smeet inside of you. Something called... _ empathy _.” The word sounded foreign on his tongue.

You snort in amusement at the words, unable to contain the sudden bout of laughter that erupted from deep inside of you. You laughed, and he became offended at your humor in his pain, glaring heatedly at you as you continued laughing. “Fine! Laugh at Zim’s problems!” He folded his arms, looking put out.

The laughter felt good, actually, it was the first time you felt so amused at anything ever since you told the former _ little _ shit to look up sex on the internet. He was so fucking traumatized from what he found. You end up smiling slightly at how he looked, impatient and tapping his foot while looking at anything but you. “Why are you rearranging my furniture?” You decide to change the subject for his sake alone, and at the question, he looks slightly relieved before the emotion dissolves just as fast.

“Your domicile is laden with filth and germs, Zim decided to make sure it was clean. I refuse to have you become sick and thus force me to take care of you.” It was clearly a lie, you had a feeling it was a lie, because you kept your apartment clean enough to live in. You roll your eyes at his explanation and feel the bump on your abdomen, suddenly wanting to eat straight from the sugar bowl.

You leave his side and go into the kitchen, where all the pots and pans and dishes had been reorganized. It took you three tries to eventually find your snack cabinet, but there was a definite lack in sugar. “Where the fuck are my pixie sticks?” You cry out, looking back at Zim accusingly.

Zim quirked an antennae before turning his attention to the small dog. “There’s a strong chance that he’s devoured your sugar products. GIR, did you steal (Y/N)’s food?”

The dog looked over and waved, “IT TASTED LIKE STRAWBERRY!”

You suddenly felt a headache coming on from the loud screeching, moving to the kitchen table and sitting down while you cradled your head in your hands. You felt your stomach growl and sighed, because this meant you had to go back out and buy more.

Soon you hear the chair next to you scrape against the floor and Zim’s clearing his throat. You look up and he’s not looking directly at you, holding out something in his hand that is emblazoned with the same symbol that was on the heartburn pills he had given you. It looked to be a plastic container with a white stick on both sides of the container, the red and the purple. You stare at it for a moment, confused, before Zim lets out an irritated huff and takes the stick on his end, which was coated in red powder, sticking it into his mouth. You decide to try it, taking the other stick and tasting what he had offered.

It wasn’t grape flavored like the color would suggest but it was flavorful and sweet, and you realized that the stick was made of sugar as well.

Recognition passed your features.

_ Fun dip. _

You accept it quietly, and the two of you eat your respective halves in silence.

Or the silence that was in between the sharp giggles of the green dog in the next room.

* * *

**Fifth Month - Unexpected Bonding**

You didn’t really understand why, but Zim had been visiting you more frequently than every two weeks. It was always under the guise of needing to monitor your daily habits so he could adjust anything, but it always ended up the same, with the two of you on the couch for a couple of hours while you tried to explain whatever television show you decided to watch.

This month had to be your most painful month so far, and with the expansion of your belly came the lower back pain and the cramps. It was especially difficult at night, as trying to sleep was a chore more often than not. When Zim found out that pain was keeping you up at night he decided to check in more often. He wasn’t sure about giving you drugs at this point, even though you wished for the strongest pain relievers possible. If you weren’t in school he practically forced you not to do anything else, and thus you ended up on the couch with your feet propped up on the coffee table while he ‘monitored’ you.

These days the little smeet inside of you was starting to move, and you couldn’t help but feel your stomach and catch the little kicks. You didn’t know when you stopped referring the alien baby in your stomach a green fetus, but you found that you didn’t seem to care as much.

“It’s kicking again.” You say after passing him the fun dip, the announcement seems to draw Zim’s attention to your belly and he reaches over to feel it. He always did that whenever you brought it up. Every time he did something passed through his features, a growing awe over the fact that there was a living being inside of you.

It looked adorable.

You felt the baby kick again and Zim grinned a little, “Clearly he’s a soldier.”

You quirk a brow, “A little presumptuous to be labeling him so soon in the process.”

Zim scoffs, “All Irkens are trained soldiers, it’s ingrained in our blood. You are a fighter as well, remember that. Our genetics combined will create a mighty Irken that cannot be defeated!”

“I’m not a fighter.” You counter, “Just because half my life was dedicated to kickboxing--”

“Zim witnessed you in your first month, female. You made at least five stronger males cry at that facility you went to.” He waved his hand as if it was nothing. “You may be _ tiny _, but you’re enough to be a soldier.”

“Keep calling me tiny and I might just break your arm.” You bite out, and he laughed again.

“The first time we fought I had easily conquered you, don’t forget that.”

“The first time we fought the situation was completely different. I was naked and you were fighting dirty.”

“Zim was going easy on you the first time, you battle like a smeet.”

“I gave you a black eye and a bloody lip.”

“I tire of this argument.” He decided then, “Let’s agree to disagree.”

You take the fun dip that was offered to you and suck on your own stick, thinking for a moment before taking it out. “When I’m back on my feet we’re having a rematch.” You said then.

Zim’s antennae twitched irritably but he said nothing, instead, leaning his head on your stomach to feel the tiny heartbeat inside of you.

You let out a sigh and watch the television.

* * *

**Sixth Month - Jealousy**

It was summer. You didn’t like that it was summer. Summer meant no work and no work meant nothing to do. You wanted to keep moving and work, you were quite stubborn because of it, but the longer Zim spent at your side the less you were able to do anything. He made it his mission to make sure you didn’t ‘damage’ yourself further. Apparently he looked up the signs and symptoms of a human pregnancy and ever since then he was intent on having you stuck in bed while the gestating process continued. So far, your pregnancy symptoms were doubled due to the alien inside your belly. Your heartburn returned and it felt like you were actually swallowing fire, the hot flashes that attacked you made you feel like you were spending the summer in the Sahara Desert rather than a midwestern city. You couldn’t stand for longer than you’re used to, lest you’d become dizzy from the poor circulation. Zim and your body were on the same wavelength, and you felt trapped now, forced to sit in comfort while you wished you could do something time-consuming. Television and reading only went so far.

You were miserable by now, sitting up in your bed with only a tank-top and shorts, the summer weather making it impossible to wear anything further. You missed the days when you spent summer roaming the beach and watching the water. You couldn’t even do that, as Zim feared the water would hurt the smeet, despite you drinking it constantly.

What made matters worse was while Zim was gone he enlisted his little robot to watch after you, and by watch he really did watch, keeping his eyes glued to you and screaming every time you got up and out of bed.

“Do you have any threes?”

At the moment you two settled in a card game. You were trying to play poker while he was playing go-fish, and eventually, you gave up trying to refuse the little robot’s wishes.

You flipped a three of diamonds to the little robot, “Do you have any Jacks?” Oh, you would kill for a shot of Jack Daniels right now.

“Go fish!” He cried out, both of you pausing when someone began knocking on the door. “I’LL GET IT!” He shrieked before leaping off the bed and trotting over to the door. You sighed and laid your head back. You had a royal flush in your hand and there was no way in hell he could understand Texas-Holdem.

“Miss (L/N).”

You blink, recognizing the voice and looking back at the door, Dib was standing there, his eyes directly at the showing bump. You roll your eyes at his blatant staring. “Surprise, it’s an alien.” You say jokingly.

He looked so out of place, the poor little shit. You got up off the bed and heard the little robot scream once your foot touched the floor. “Jesus Christ I’m not going to break in two!” You cried out to the small thing. It felt good to move, really.

Dib swallowed thickly, “Well, um, how’s...the…”

“How’s the small alien growing inside of me? Well so far he’s sitting on my bladder and I have to piss more than I need to and he loves to kick me every time he wants something, and it’s mainly sugar.” You explain with dry humor, leading him into the kitchen. “I didn’t really eat sugar before this, did you know that?”

“Sounds… plausible.” He says, “Irkens live off of snack foods and candy, so it’s not surprising.”

“Eugh.” You sit back down on the chair in the kitchen. “This is the last time I let an alien fuck me.” You repeat your dry humor, watching him have a hard time with it. It was fun to watch teenagers be awkward.

“I...actually, I came here for two reasons.” He sat down across from you, “Well, I kinda had to hack into the school’s mainframe to find out where you live--”

“Cyberstalking, _ fun _!” You smirk.

He winces but doesn’t back down, “I usually don’t do that but Zim’s been acting strange these past few months. Normally he’s trying to devise a plan to either destroy the planet or control it, but recently he’s not… doing that. With your condition, I began to wonder why he’s rarely in his base anymore.”

You quirk a brow at him, “Do you normally go and spy on him, or is your life just that dull?”

He glared at you slightly, “Hey, I’m the sole reason the Earth is still moving, if it weren’t for me the entire human race would probably be enslaved or dead!”

“Wow, no need to get your panties in a bunch, Dib.” You hold up your hands placatingly, “To answer your question, he’s been over here most of the time ‘monitoring’ whatever I do.” You use your fingers as quotation marks, “He’s become my overbearing mother lately, and I don’t like that because I fucking hated my mother.”

He blinked, slightly bewildered, “He--he’s been over here?” Dib honestly didn’t know how to react to that, confused, “That’s… weird.”

“How so?”

“Well for one, Zim doesn’t care about anyone but himself.” Dib explained, “He’s a complete sociopath and a narcissist.”

You tilt your head to the side, “Remember who you’re talking to, Dib. I have a degree in Psychology. I’ve yet to see any of those traits. In fact he’s the complete opposite when he’s here.”

“Huh.” He frowned, looking around the room suddenly, “Where is he, anyway?”

You shrug, “I have no fucking clue, he just left the little robot here and told it to watch over me and bolted.”

Dib nodded slowly, “Okay… um...well, how have you been doing?” He asked then, changing the subject.

The question was stupid, as it looked completely obvious to anyone with eyesight. “Aside from my body completely warping and the constant reminders that I have a living being inside of me, I suppose I’m doing alright. Not dead yet.” You grinned slightly from the comment, “We’ll find out if this thing shoots out of my stomach or not.”

It was clear that the boy wasn’t used to your humor, which you found an abundance of during this pregnancy. He went quiet for a moment before looking away, “C--can I feel it?” He asked. “I-I mean you don’t have to say yes but I’m just really curious and--”

You snort in amusement at his rambling, shoving your chair back, “Have fun with that, it doesn’t really feel all that interesting aside from the kicking.”

Dib switched chairs and smiled slightly, scooting closer to your belly and tentatively laying a palm on the surface, nervous as if he would accidentally kill it if he pressed too hard. Immediately he was met with a couple of kicks and his eyebrows shoot up into his hair. “Holy shit.”

“It seems to know when someone’s coping a feel.” You laugh once he yanked his hand back, somewhat pink at the statement.

“I wasn’t--”

“What are YOU doing here?” A snarl interrupted your playful banter and the two of you turn to face the doorway, Zim was in his disguise but the sight of Dib seemed to anger him.

“Oh, Dib just popped by.” You answer for the boy, but Zim ignored you, pointing to the other.

“I will not have you trying to abduct my female and take her to your domicile so you can dissect both her and my smeet!” He cried out, moving forward to grab Dib’s arm while he was reeling from the suddenness of what was happening. Zim ignored you as you got up to defend the boy, bodily dragging the teenager out of the room, “If you don’t want Zim to rip out your legs and make it so you’ll never walk again you will STAY AWAY from this domicile and keep your big head away from my lifemate and child!” He slammed open the door and kicked Dib out.

The boy caught onto a few choice words as soon as he stumbled out, looking at Zim bewilderedly, “Wait, Zim--”

The alien slammed the door on him before Dib could get another word in, turning on his heel to face you. “What are you doing out of your bed?” He shouted.

“For fuck’s sake I’m six months along, I can still move!” You shout back at him, “What the fuck was that all about? Dib was just here to talk!”

“I know Dib and his ‘talks’. First it’s _ ‘hi how are you’ _ then you’re wearing sleep cuffs and waking up in his basement!” He stormed over to you, grabbing your arm and checking you for anything suspicious. “What did he do?”

You ripped your arm from his grasp, “All he did was feel the smeet you fucking jealous asshole!”

“JEALOUS?” He shrieked, “Zim is not made of jelly!”

“Storming in here like a screaming banshee and throwing out someone without listening to them sounds like jealousy to me, dipshit!” You get closer to him, prodding his chest with your finger. “That’s jealousy, learn about it before I slam a dictionary onto your thick skull--”

You didn't get a chance to finish your sentence before he grabbed you roughly by your arms and slamming your faces together as he kissed you posessively. The force of the kiss was enough to derail whatever you were arguing about as your body melted from the passion he was displaying. He took his time to exploring your mouth as you gave in and whimpered into his, easing his grip on you while pulling you further against his body. You lost track of how long he was tasting you before he released your swollen lips, nipping at the bottom one before purring.

”You belong to me.” He murmured against your skin while one of his hands settled on your hip. ”I will destroy anyone who tries to take you or our smeet away from Zim.” 

You were dazed from the sudden intimacy that he was displaying, watching Zim with wide eyes before his other hand, now settled on the back of your neck, pulling your head forward so he could give you a slow and demanding kiss, one that conveyed his dominance over you. A tingling sensation trickles down your spine and settles inside your belly and suddenly you moaned into the kiss, submissively giving into his silent demand as he walked you back towards the bedroom. 

Suddenly he shoved you back onto the bed, catching you off-guard. He goes for your shorts first and then your panties, running a hand over your swollen belly before ridding himself of his own clothes. His tentacle-like phallus was already visible, slick and dripping and ready to enter you. He didn't waste any time, positioning himself against your backside. You felt him slip inside you instantly and you cried out, baring your neck for him as he ground up against you. He gladly accepted your offering and bit down on your neck, holding you still as he… Fucked? Made love to? You didn't know anymore, allowing yourself to be carried away by the feeling. You were suddenly very, very aroused and he was the only one who could fix it. You continued to whimper, his name slipping from your lips like a silent prayer and he was your God. That in itself seemed to please him and he began to speak to you, once again speaking in his native tongue and further entrancing you with his metallic language.

”Feel Zim.” He hissed into your ear, ”Feel the only one who will give you this pleasure. You are mine and no one will get in the way of that.” He growled, ”Zim will kill anyone who tries.”

His words were affecting you how he planned them to affect you, dragging you closer and closer to your own climax.

”Tell me who owns you.” He demanded.

”Zim…” you whimper, feeling his hand caressing your belly, your child. He slams into you harder and you cry out his name again, “ZIM!”, arching against him as you hit your peak and bliss began to wash over you. He wasn't too far behind, hissing out his own as his cock began to swell inside of you until it locked the two of you together. You gasp and sigh in pleasure, your entire body relaxing against his, feeling him cum inside of you as he continued to whisper violent promises into your ear.

Somewhere along the line you fell asleep, your body was so relaxed you found yourself being pulled under quickly. In the back of your mind a single word whispered into your consciousness.

Lifemate.

* * *

**Seventh Month - Mutual Familiarity**

Ever since the incident with Dib, Zim hasn’t been away from you for very long. You couldn’t quite understand his sudden possessive behavior, but you weren’t about to complain. The sex seemed to ease your body and relax you enough to fall asleep, and he concocted a plan to make sure you fell asleep more often so your body would regenerate the energy for the smeet. It wasn’t long until you grew a little bigger, and try as you might, he refused to allow you to roam around or go outside of the house, opting to get you whatever you needed himself. It was a good thing too, because one day while he was out you tested your stamina, and it must have been because of the smeet, because you felt like you were about to pass out after trying to exercise in your living room. The smeet wasn’t nearly like a human baby at all, it was actually using most of your energy and you had no way to stop it.

Though, with sex, came the contractions. At first it alarmed you, you thought you were having the baby but as he readied everything he figured out that it wasn’t a real contraction. Both of you were confused by that, so you read up on it. The internet was handy for such a thing. Fake contractions were normal, apparently, and were brought on by either exercise or sex. That revelation ended up breaking the deal, as he assumed that eventually he would fuck the baby right out of you.

You tried so hard to tell him that it didn’t work that way.

It was weird, that you were now referring the alien in your stomach as your baby, when you remembered being emotionally unattached to the thing at the start. You wondered if it was a maternal bond of some kind, it was actually becoming a part of you. It was obviously working on Zim, because he went from you being an experiment to suddenly threatening death upon anyone who laid a finger on you.

You idly wondered if this counted as a student-teacher relationship, until the thought made you laugh so hard you had a cramp.

* * *

**Eighth Month - Hibernation**

You couldn’t explain it. The need to sleep the day away. You were starting to sleep for longer and longer periods of time, unable to maintain the energy to stay awake for more than a half-hour. That time was used wisely, and you were fed and watered every time you woke up from a long bout of sleep. It had to be the baby, there wasn’t anything else that fit the bill. The alien child was readying itself to be expelled from your body and taking as much energy as possible so it could do so.

You noticed that Zim hardly left unless he had to, and sometimes when you woke up you had the strangest feeling that he had been in the bed with you, laying his head on your belly.

* * *

**Ninth Month - The Birthing**

The sudden pain was the first thing you felt, making you whimper as you clutched your belly. It was dark inside the room, and the sound of your whimper seemed to alert the one other inhabitant of your apartment. Zim was inside the room instantly, flipping on the lights to see you wincing painfully as another contraction passed through your body.

“How long has it been?” He questions you loudly.

“Nine fucking months!” You hiss out, panting as soon as the contraction passed and laying back to breathe, “I think--I think--this is legit.”

Zim nods and leaves quickly. By now he had moved all the needed equipment from his base into your apartment as well as a portable monitor that held his own AI. You silently count the seconds between the last contraction and the next one while he does his best to set up quickly.

There was no fucking way in hell that you were going to a hospital. Not if you wanted to end up in the tabloids and have your alien child be taken away from you. Zim wasn’t about to take any chances, no matter how stupid the human race was. You watch him get everything in place and hook you up, removing whatever wasn't needed.

The monitor was hooked up to your heart as well as your stomach and at that point you felt another contraction appear, actually crying out from the intensity of the pain. This wasn’t fucking normal. “FUCK!”

“This is what I’m worried about.” He pulls out a syringe. “There’s a reason Irkens don’t naturally birth smeets anymore.”

“Oh NOW you tell me?” You glare at him, “Don’t fucking do this right now the last thing I want to hear is that I might fucking die from this!”

“You won’t.” He reassured you quickly, finding a vein on your arm, “Not if we keep your pain levels down. Zim took months to research every outcome after deciding that you were required to survive the process.”

You look at him incredulously as he injects whatever’s in the syringe, a sudden urge to slam your fist into his face took over before the drug began to work. “You--you didn’t plan for me to live?” Instead of the blinding rage you felt yourself crying. Jesus Christ, not now.

“That was long before you became important to Zim!” He reasoned, “Be thankful and honored that Zim has chosen you to be his lifemate!”

Arrogant as always, you thought bitterly, glaring at him through your tears as he does his best to focus his attention elsewhere and not your accusing eyes. The next contraction seems to take your focus away from your current emotions and you cry out again, though this time it wasn’t as painful as the last, and you knew they were becoming closer. In fact, the drug was working so well that you wondered if your perception of reality was becoming distorted. You couldn’t bring yourself to care, at least you weren’t in pain anymore.

So what if he planned for you to die at one point? He fucking changed his mind now.

Your concept of time seemed to vanish while you were dazed and drugged, but eventually you felt Zim smacking you in the face to bring you back to reality. Everything had become a blur, because one moment you were experiencing pain and the next moment you felt… better. Then you began to hear it, the small wailing. The cries further brought you back to reality and you realized that he was holding something wrapped up in your sheets. “That was fast.” You say suddenly to break the silence, and Zim’s antennae twitch irritably.

“That was two hours, you weak Earth thing.” He brought the child over and allowed you to look at it, as if he was afraid of you dropping it if he gave it to you. It was a strange sight. The child was...abstract. Irken and human skin warring with each other like some type of alien vitiligo, a mess of hair and antennae, and when it opened its eyes, one was fully red while the other was… your eye color. It didn’t look deformed or freakish at all, and suddenly you felt a pang in your chest. Was this maternal bonding?

“Let me hold it.”

“No!” Zim hissed out, “You’ll drop him.”

You glare at him, “No I fucking won’t, and babies don’t shatter like Faberge eggs.”

“Their heads are squishy at this stage, so no.”

“You fucking asshole let me hold him!”

“When the drugs have cleared your system THEN you may hold your magnificent smeet.”

The blatant refusal purely annoyed you for a moment before your banter makes you realize something.

This went from a strange and fucked up experiment to some sort of domestic normalcy in the span of nine months.

You both no longer hated each other.

In fact, in Zim’s words exactly, you two were now something akin to married.

“Fuck.”


	3. Extra Credit: Dirty Talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone requested this because it was in my head for the longest time, and requests move me.
> 
> Zim learns dirty talk.

”Are you sure?” You allow Zim to drag you into the lower recesses of his base, giving him a mischievous and knowing grin.

”While he’s distracted.” He says quickly, pulling you into a room and pushing you against the nearest wall. He attacked your mouth instantly, licking your lips open and exploring your mouth. You respond eagerly and meet your tongue with his, feeling the texture of his mouth. He was still an exotic taste, but you knew some of him tasted better than others.

You realize that you have an opportunity and take a hold of Zim’s shoulders, urging him to step back as you broke the kiss. He looks at you confused and flushed but you grin at him, lowering yourself to your knees.

”(Y/N)--”

”Quiet.” You say harshly, reaching for his waistband of those pants under that red tunic he wears, grasping them and dragging his pants down. His hand is suddenly in your hair as you are presented with his wonderfully curious anatomy. You found yourself a fan of the Irken anatomy. The tentacle-like organ that pulsated and glistened with it's own self-lubricating slick. You reach up to stroke it, feeling the heat before you lean forward to lick it lovingly with your tongue.

That was the biggest thing that you loved about Zim’s alien cock. It tasted like candy. Like the sweetest candy you have ever tasted, and after your pregnancy, you had a healthy craving for candy.

You hear him groan and continued, licking him lazily as your hand stroked along his length. You enjoyed doing this more than anything. When you finally took him into your mouth he gripped your hair, groaning louder now. You let out a pleasant hum as you sucked him off, taking your time to worship his fantastic cock. You gave it your undivided attention, licking and sucking, and stroking him. He was big enough for your hands and mouth, but your intent was to get him to cum. His cum was like a treat to you, something you found yourself craving after the first time you went down on him. He didn't ever complain, he loved it when you sucked him off. Though he didn't understand how he could taste so irresistible he didn't mind letting you indulge.

In fact, it went to his head after a while.

”Keep going.” He growled, unable to stop himself from trying to fuck your mouth at this point. You enjoyed this part when his resolve began to break and he was desperate for more. You swallow around him, feeling him nay in your throat. You thanked yourself for your lack of gag reflex, continuing to suck hard as he tried his best to make the pleasure last. 

”(Y/N)!” He came with a shout and you could instantly taste him, greedily drinking every drop of his cum the longer he released into your thirsty mouth. His grip on your hair sagged and you could feel him letting out a breathy groan. You pulled back with a slick pop, licking your lips and grinning up at him.

”You’re horrible.” He said, his eyes lingering on your devilish smirk.

”I think the word you're looking for is fantastic.” You stand after pulling his pants back up, licking your lips again. ”Don’t tell me you didn't like it, because that would be a fucking lie.”

He thought it over before grasping you around your waist and bodily throwing you over his shoulder, making you laugh while he carried you to the nearest table. He swiped everything off of it before laying you on the surface, splaying his hand over your abdomen.

”You liked that didn't you?” He questioned. You grinned in return and spread your legs for him, watching as he grasped your thighs and pulled you closer to him. ”You enjoyed every second of it, sucking on my cock like a dirty whore!”

That makes you falter for a second. ”Huh--aah!” Your reaction is forgotten as soon as he pressed into you, and you're happy you wore no panties under your dress. You quickly get back into the mood, his thrust eliciting a moan.

”Yeah feel my violent meat rod of destiny you dirty little cumslut.”

Your brain snaps back into reality at those words, ”What?”

He ignored your reaction, thrusting harder, ”it’s time to make Daddy scream for Zim--”

”Alright hold on!” You cry out, struggling in his grasp and trying to kick him. ”Zim I said STOP!”

Zim looked put out by your reactions as he stopped. ”What is it? Did Zim not do it right?”

You narrow your eyes in suspicion, ”Do _ what _ right? What in the flying fuck was that all about?”

”Zim is performing the human mating ritual as always, where are your brainmeats?”

”My brainmeats are wondering where the fuck you learned those brand new words, Zim.” You say suspiciously, struggling against him again. ”Get the fuck out of me.”

Zim wasn't happy as he removed himself from you. ”I don't understand. Zim did it just how it was supposed to be done.”

You watched his confusion for a moment. ”Where did you learn about your violent meat rod of destiny?”

”Isn't it obvious?” He looked at you seriously. ”Those informational videos you introduced to Zim one year ago.”

You frown, ”A year ago…” Suddenly you pause and the next moment you're slapping him hard on the arm. ”You've been watching PORN?”

”Yes.” He said flatly, still waiting for you to get over it and lie back down. ”Why aren't you turned on? In the videos the females get turned on.”

”Jesus Christ.” You put your face in your hands, suddenly feeling tired. ”I would be turned on if it didn't sound so out of character and creepy. I don't want to hear you call me cumslut ever again.” You slide yourself off the table, ignoring how offended he looked.

”Zim rather liked calling you cumslut, it's a perfect token of affection!”

That stops you in your tracks. ”Do...you know what that even _ means _?” You turn to look at him and it’s obvious that he's trying to figure it out.

”COMPUTER! TELL ME WHAT CUM--”

”ZIM IF YOU FINISH THAT I SWEAR TO GOD.” You slap your hand over his mouth. ”It doesn't mean what you think it means, Zim. Let's leave it at that.” You step away from him before turning back around. ”Oh, and you better not say any of this around Nut.”

He turned to you, glaring, ”Why can't Zim say this around my child when you insist on teaching Peanut _your_ human curse words.”

”There’s a big, big difference between saying fuck around Peanut and saying the word cumslut.” You cry out. ”Fuck will only earn you disappointed glares from the other parents but if Peanut ever says the word cumslut then those parents will be calling the police and then CPS will come to our house and you will be sent to jail and our child will be taken away from us.”

Zim looked startled at your explanation and he thought about it long and hard, sighing. ”Very well, but what about daddy?”

You roll your eyes, ”You weren't even using it right. It's the other way around.”

”Other way around…”

”You are the Daddy, not me.” You run your hands through your hair. ”Motherfucker, I'm teaching a socially inept alien about dirty talk.” You begin to leave the room. ”Mommy needs a drink.”

Zim was left alone in the room after that, and he waited until the door shut before turning away. ”Computer, define the word cumslut.”

You were enjoying a drink while feeding Nut some small crackers, before a terrible screech came out of the trash can beside you.

”Mommy what was that?” The boy asked.

You smile thinly. ”Daddy just learned a new word.”


	4. Extra Credit: Last Day of Summer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a summertime chapter.

It was a battle to actually get Zim to agree to allowing you to take little Nut to the beach, something Zim was vehemently against in every way. It wasn’t because of how you three would be in the public eye in front of the “smelly and horrible” humans, it was moreso that Zim had _ horrible nightmare visions _ about Nut reacting to the seawater just how Zim reacted to all kinds of water, and the little smeet would dissolve and turn into seafoam, that and the fact that he read all about shark attacks and had a double fear that Nut would get eaten or kidnapped by mermaids or be smuggled onto pirate ships.

The fear of the unknown was quite strong within your lifemate, and all you could do was laugh and explain that pirate ships didn’t exist in this time, that mermaids weren’t real, that sharks didn’t actively hunt down children to eat them, and that Nut had been drinking water straight from the tap for months and so far he hasn’t had a bad reaction.

It didn’t calm his worries as you thought it would.

“Keep him at least 30 feet away from the water!” Zim said it like a command, in his arms were the supplies the two of you needed for the stay at the beach, the two beach umbrellas for Zim’s sensitive skin and the extra-large towels, while in your hands was the cooler of snacks and drinks while little Nut was trotting along with his hand in your free one, his red eye directly on the blue waters and watching the young human children play. So far, the two of you have gotten away with explaining that Nut had a rare skin and eye condition and that was why he looked like he did, and his antennae threaded seamlessly in his hair, which never stayed down no matter what you tried. It was quite fun going to the store to get him his little swim trunks, and because he liked pink so much you were happy to get him ones in pink - something that mothers seemed to comment on the most was why your little boy was wearing girls colors, in which you replied clearly that “my son can wear whatever the fuck he wants so back off”, while Nut made the situation even better by echoing you and chimbing “Fuck off!” To those said mothers.

Zim still had a problem with Nut telling adults to _ fuck off _every moment that he was out with his father, because mostly it brought him unneeded attention and guilttrips. Your family dynamic was the exact opposite than what was normal. You worked and took home the paycheck and Zim stayed at home and took care of the smeet, something he rather enjoyed doing, until he ran into the Karens who tried to tell him how to raise his child. You had to sit him down one afternoon to remind him that they didn’t set the standard of what a family dynamic should be and it was perfectly normal for him to stay at home and for you to work, and for Peanut to say fuck as many times as he wanted.

Today was the last day of summer, which meant it was the last day for you to be free from work until you had to go back to school, which further meant that you needed another set of photos on your phone of your child to look over while you were counseling the sad and sorry students of the highschool.

You handed Peanut off to Zim as soon as he dropped the supplies onto the sand, doing his best not to cringe in disgust at the sight of half-naked humans that looked worse for wear. “There’s nothing for him to even _ do _.” He complained instantly.

“Nonsense, there’s plenty for him to do.” You argue as you set up the umbrellas. “He can make a sand castle, he can go hunting for seashells, he can bury you in the sand, and most of all, he can go swimming.”

“Three out of four of those choices sound horribly nasty, you don’t know what’s in this sand. There could be glass, there could be hidden traps, there could be a plague!”

“There could be an overly paranoid Irken that’s looking for every excuse to get out of this lovely day. Zim, sit down, it’s bright and sunny, there’s no clouds. It’s not going to rain, it’s also one of the hottest days on record.” You spread out the towels and settled the cooler next to your spot. “Do your son a favor and try to have fun.”

Peanut was already digging into the sand, smiling as he carved out a hole. “Daddy lie down.” He said it lie a command, because he took after his dad more than anything.

Zim looked at the pile of sand suspiciously and slid his foot over it, knocking the sand back in the hole, “Are you sure you don’t want to, just, learn about Earth sea mammals instead?”

Peanut looked terribly offended, pointing at the spot in front of him, “No I wanna bury you like Mommy said.” He looked indignant, and sure of himself that he was going to get his way, because he always did.

Zim and Peanut stared each other down, as if it was a battle of wills, until Peanut pulled out his cutest pout. It always worked, rendering the alien defenseless and Zim groaned, sitting down. The sand was very warm from the sun and instantly he wondered if it was going to be as bad as he assumed, tentatively lying down like his son instructed while Peanut went about piling up sand over the other’s body.

You chuckled at the sight, “Was that so hard?” You tease.

“Be quiet.” Zim bit out.

Peanut was good at what he did, burying him in so much sand that he managed to pack it tightly around Zim. It took so long and the sand was so warm that the older Irken began to drift off, being lulled by the enveloping warmth.

You watched with amusement at how Zim was falling victim to the heat, smiling as you crawled over to his sleeping body. You spotted a nearby crab and grinned, getting up quickly to intercept it. ”Nut.” You whisper, catching the smeet’s attention and moving to settle the small creature on Zim’s chest. Peanut began to giggle at the sight of the small crustacean scuttling near the Irken’s chin.

”Zim.” You say quietly, knowing he could fully hear you. ”Gir’s in your lab putting jelly on your machines.”

”HUH?” Zim startled awake immediately, ”GIR--” He froze at the sight of the small crab, his eyes going wide before he began shrieking at the top of his lungs. What made the scene perfect was that he was motionless under the same and you quickly took your phone out to snap a photo before he violently ripped himself free of his confinement and darted as far from the crab as possible, doubling over when he could to catch his breath.

When he stopped he realized that everyone on the beach was staring at him and that you were laughing as loudly as possible, doubled over and in tears at his entire reaction. Peanut was in a flurry of giggles as well, and Zim narrowed his eyes at the two of you, pretending he just didn't scream bloody murder just a second ago and marching back to your spot. ”Yes, yes laugh it up. Laugh at Zim all you want, you will get yours (Y/N).” He sat himself down and folded his arms. ”Zim knows how to exact revenge.”

”Keep talking.” You snort in amusement, getting up and taking Peanut by the hand. ”Let’s go swimming now.”

”Yay!” Peanut cheered happily, breaking off into a run.

”No, no, no, no! Peanut! No! Water is bad!” Zim was quickly on his feet and hurried to catch up to the two of you, scooping up his son before the boy could charge into the water. ”You’re not going to kill our child!” He shouted.

You frown. ”Zim the water is fine, Peanut drinks water all the time.”

”This water is different!” He cried out, ”It’s more polluted and disgusting! Just look at it and you'll see how dangerous it is.”

”Mommy said I could go swimming.” Peanut frowned, ”I wanna go swimming Daddy!”

”Your son has my genetics, Zim.” You point out. ”He doesn't need a pack, for one.”

Zim clung on to his child desperately, staring at the water with apprehension and distrust. ”What if you’re wrong?” He asked quietly. ”What if you're wrong and he dies from it?” He turned his worried eyes onto you. ”Don't make me do this, (Y/N).” 

You go silent and watch him, watching him clutch his son for dear life as if he could lose him at any moment. You look back at the water and then at him. ”What if you're wrong?” You question. ”What if you keep him away from everything out of fear and he never gets to try anything because you insist he might die from it. What if you bring him up to fear everything so much that he’s afraid to live?” You glare at him slightly. ”My mother did that to me, Zim. She coddled me to the point that I became afraid of the outside world. She made me afraid of the unknown until I was lucky enough to get away.”

He winced at your words and looked away from you, feeling Peanut struggle in his grasp.

”Daddy let me go.” He whined.

”He won't die, Zim.” You say softly, reaching out for your son. Zim hesitates before handing him over to you, still looking anxious and fearful. He let close to you as you carried Peanut to the shoreline, keeping a short distance from the waves. You kneel down and wet your hand, touching a finger to Peanut’s leg. When nothing happened for a few seconds you let his foot dip into the water.

Zim flinched violently at the sight of his son’s foot submerged in the water, gritting his teeth anxiously and mentally counting the seconds. As time went on and there still wasn't a reaction, you began to let go of Peanut, only holding his hand now as he kicked up the water with a giggle.

Zim took a step back, all the weight of his fears floating away the longer his son played in the water. When you began to play with him he continued to step back, slowly going back to his place and settling down, watching the two of you splash yourselves in the water.

An hour later you were soaking wet, carrying little Peanut in your arms as he yawned. You had taught him how to swim in the shallow water until he grew tired. By this time the beach was becoming empty of people and only Zim remained in your area. He stood up when you approached and pulled out another towel, helping you dry off before using another dry towel to wrap Peanut inside.

”Let’s go home.” You say softly, grasping Zim’s hand with your dry one and squeezing it. ”I told you nothing would happen.”

”Zim can't help but worry.” He said to you as he took down everything, ”We’re two different alien races that created something entirely new. I can't help but wonder what my son may or may not be immune to. He can't eat meat, but he can withstand water.”

”I told you that the ocean wasn't any different than the tap water.” You say knowingly.

He rolls his eyes at you. ”Keep gloating, but _ I _ was right about his meat allergy.”

”We’re new parents, Zim. Every day is going to be a learning experience.”

He didn't reply to that, helping you carry everything back to your car as you carried your son to his car seat.

Zim left the beach in better spirits than when he first entered it.


End file.
